This morning I made myself pancakes. While eating, I started thinking about the British and how angry they used to get at stupid "Americanisms" before America became a world power, so to speak, and I thought to myself how funny it would be a if a boatload of Koreans rowed out into the Pacific and began pronouncing 와 like 아 or something (and if you're a patriotic brainwashed idiot, you'll insist that's what the Japanese did) and creating new rules for a language that's not even theirs. I mean, I wouldn't get as pissed as the Brits were unless it were to piss myself laughing. Then I thought, what if the New World became the Old World (what if the Native Americans and the Aztecs and the Mayans had found us first?) and then, well, yeah, it kind of is-- African Americans take trips to Africa and European descendents walk around Scotland going click click click and gyopos like me go back to the homeland with at best a speech impediment and at worst something fundamentally wrong with me because I'm a banana, right: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

And then I thought what if the Apocalypse happened and all human record of the last 6000 years disappeared and we all lived in tribes in the forests of Philadelphia or Denver and by then, we're all this mocha brownish color from, like, interracial fornication and whatnot and we row across the Atlantic and are shocked! and amazed! to find pasty white tribes by the Rhine and black tribes roaming around in Ghana and Mongolians on horseback throwing themselves across the East Sea at the insurmountable fortress that is the island of Japan. They'll still have anime.