graduation scares me.

i asked lee if he'd come in place of my family. i don't want my parents to come because my dad was such an ass at my last graduation, when my average was a 99.5 and he still thought i was a failure, but i don't want to be the only there with, like, no one to talk to at the end. so i thought, the only person i really want to leave with, in the end, besides my friends, is lee. i like that my silly crush on him last year changed into this lasting affection/friendship (so far) with him. i thought tuyen and i would be friends but i really seem to have lost her within the last 6 months-- that's sad.

last week we had dinner with litman and that was fun. afterwards tuyen, lee, and i hung out at the playground across the street from her house and we swung on the swings and goofed around. it was just like old times. i miss my sophomore/beginning of junior year with them so much. it would just be the three of us in the yearbook office and when tuyen starts laughing her laughter would be so loud and obnoxious that i start laughing too, and then lee starts freaking out because we're both going at it like loons; when one of us stop, the other starts it off again. and lee's going shut up SHUT UP YOU TWO and telling litman that he just can't get it up and giving both of us rides home (tuyen south, me north) and we'd go to wendy's/dunkin' donuts and eat sitting in his car. we went back to our old spot last week-- i had a frosty and lee was eating his donut when he turned to me and was like, we should get married someday. for health insurance purposes. and i was all, yeah one day.

funny thing is, i wouldn't mind it. even if there'd be no sex.